Posts

The Dust on My Mind #4

Image
                                Seperti tidak akan ada habisnya jika kita terus mengulik tentang waktu dan rahasia yang disembunyikan oleh Bumi. Perlahan namun pasti, waktu akan menggiring kita pada sesuatu. Sesuatu yang boleh jadi mengejutkan, menyedihkan, membahagiakan, bahkan membingungkan. Rahasia-rahasia yang selama ini dipendam oleh semesta, perlahan namun pasti, mencuat ke permukaan. Rahasia-rahasia yang bisa jadi diharapkan, diingkan, bahkan diaminkan. Kemarin aku berpijak pada satu titik, di sebuah kotak menyesakkan. Di sebuah ruang membosankan. Di sebuah tempat menakutkan. Lagi dan lagi, pikirku. Sudah muak rasanya mengalami hal-hal serupa. Namun hidup terus bergulir. Bumi berputar. Sudah pasti cerita akan terus berlanjut, maupun berulang. Hal itu tidak akan berhenti selama udara masih bisa dihirup oleh paruh. Saat itu, aku tidak lagi berharap akan apapun. Juga tidak berharap untuk...
Post a Comment
Read more

Bullying Behaviour of Akito in Fruit Basket Season 2

Image
  During this pandemic, there are no many things I can do. However, I do several things such as applying a job ((as a fresh graduate!)), reading, writing and watching. Lately, I am interested in watching anime especially One Piece (starting from episode 1!!) and Fruit Basket. Both of them are still going on, but Fruit Basket Season 2 ended this week. While watching Fruit Basket, I made a plan to write about one character named Akito. Thus, here I am.  Since I found Akito is interesting character, and she relates to something I like ((I like to study someone’s behaviour)), so I want to know deeper about her character and decide to write on this page (lol). First of all, Fruit Basket is Japanese manga series published in 1998 until 2006. Further, the anime of FB released in 2001 (1st season) and 2020 (2nd season). Honestly, I do not read the manga but I am up to date for its anime. Hence, I talk about FB which based on the anime (only). FB talks about Tohru Honda, an orphan gi...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Dust on My Mind #3

I write this in the middle of the night, thinking about 2019 that will end very soon.  2019 has been teaching me many lessons. This year is beautifully a mess, but I am grateful for what this year offered me. 2019 is like a roller coaster, but I guess everyday is a roller coaster since we will always face ups and downs.  Despite all, I get many blessing this year. I lost someone I loved, I found someone to love, I trapped in the dark tunnel, and I found a light that guided me to go to a better place. Once again, I am grateful. I wrote about my anger in my previous post, it is like my habit to reread what I’d written. I feel ashamed to read that post again since I realized how could I be so ungrateful, and weak? I learned that there are many ways to live the life, so why do I choose to hurt myself by doubting my worth? my value; by pointing all my fault to the universe. Thus, since today I decide to be strong, stronger than ever. To be tough. To accept everything th...
1 comment
Read more

untitled letter to this universe.

Here I am (again and again). I am full of anger right now. I've been in this dark place like thousand times, and I still do not know how to escape from the evil side of this universe. I yelled to this world, million times, but it seemed like it did not hear my sickening complains. I don't know, I don't fucking really know why it keeps driving me insane. Can this world just let me slip away? did I do something wrong? where? can this world just whisper to me where I went wrong instead of punishing me over and over again. I'm tired. I really am tired of this curse. It may seems simple, yet it takes my serenity away. There are a lot of people which live with similar case as me, but they can escape from it quickly, so why can't I get the same chance as them? Did I do something bad in the previous life? or maybe this universe hates me so fucking much? why they torture me this bad? why God gives me so much pain which I cannot handle mentally? don't I deserve what I ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Dust on My Mind #2

Image
I don't know why I feel like this night will be a long night for me. Lately, I am busy with my thesis since I need it to be done sooner or later. However, I have my own style to finish it; 5 minutes to do my thesis, and more than 20 minutes I use to play around with the internet. Nevertheless, in the last minute before I re-open my thesis, I went to my File Explorer because I looked for something I needed in the old folder. I opened the old file, the name of that folder is 2017. Yeah, it is all my picture when I was in 2017. There are many kind pictures of me during that year. I saw my face. My own fucking face. It was cringe, but I kinda like myself at that time than myself in this year. IDK I feel like I was good at that time. I can't say 2017 is the best year for me, but I can say in that year every splendid things happened. Sweet and sour moments happened, yet everything seemed fine to me. Long hair, (almost) clear skin, and so on. I miss those things. I wish I can reca...
Post a Comment
Read more