The Dust on My Mind #3


I write this in the middle of the night, thinking about 2019 that will end very soon. 

 2019 has been teaching me many lessons. This year is beautifully a mess, but I am grateful for what this year offered me. 2019 is like a roller coaster, but I guess everyday is a roller coaster since we will always face ups and downs. Despite all, I get many blessing this year. I lost someone I loved, I found someone to love, I trapped in the dark tunnel, and I found a light that guided me to go to a better place. Once again, I am grateful.

I wrote about my anger in my previous post, it is like my habit to reread what I’d written. I feel ashamed to read that post again since I realized how could I be so ungrateful, and weak? I learned that there are many ways to live the life, so why do I choose to hurt myself by doubting my worth? my value; by pointing all my fault to the universe.

Thus, since today I decide to be strong, stronger than ever. To be tough. To accept everything that I have, including accept all my flaws. To forgive all mistakes I made. To learn how to stand up all alone even when there are many challenges which pull me down. I’ll learn to hug myself, to comfort myself, to be a very bestfriend to myself because in the end, the only one who always be here and there is ourselves.

I usually live my life spontaneously, but now I start to create my resolution for next year. It’s not a big deal though, I just want to do what I like and love. Lately, the desire to write becomes big, and bigger. Thus, I want to write more at this page. Probably I will do some literature review; novel, song, and film ((that is because my lecturer said writing something is students’ job)). Not only that, I will try to write about my perspective on recent issue that happens in our society with all knowledge that I got. I do not know if people are still reading a blog, but I will write even there is no one read this page, lol ((at least I get my own excitement to release my emotion by writing)) because it is one of my wishes, I wanna get my inner peace. I'm tired to feel like hell, that is not fun at all. All I want is enjoying what this world brings me. I will face it, I will not hide anymore. I will lift up my burden, and if I get down in its process, at least I know I get a lesson to learn.

To all people who may read this, I wish you all the best. Let’s build other good things next year. Live your life, enjoy it; do not let anyone takes your joy away. You have 10000% control of your life. Life will always run like a roller coaster, so whether you close or open your eyes, you have to enjoy it first with huge gratitude on your chest. You have survived this far, so I believe you are able to conquer every thing.

My favorite note that I wrote to myself this year is:

 Life is not a competition, but remember the time will not wait for you forever, so do your work properly, and live your life happily!

-Wz

Comments

Unknown said…
Wita apa kabar?
Ahmad dwi (duduw)
December 30, 2019 at 12:26 PM
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